There is no easy answer to how to deal with a breakup when you are still in love. Breakups are emotionally draining at the very least, whether you are leaving or the one who has been left. There is no magic formula to take the pain away, but there are things you can do to make it as easy as it can be.

The first step is to accept that it has happened or is happening. It is nearly impossible to resolve a conflict or bring closure to a situation when one of the people simply refuse to look at the reality of it. We all like to hold on to romantic notions and memories of the past, but this isn’t the time to keep yourself in your room playing sappy love songs and staring at old pictures. You can only change what you acknowledge, and there is no use trying to pretend it away.

Secondly, to say it bluntly, cut the crap. Too many of us resort to manipulation because we lack the skills needed to express ourselves or handle conflict in a healthy way. If you don’t want the breakup and are genuinely devastated, tell them in a mature and rational way. Begging, pleading and pouting do nothing to better the situation, and are definately not how to deal with a breakup when you’re still in love.

Finally, take responsibility and drop the blame game. Skip the victim mentality and take responsibility for your side of the situation. Instead of making excuses and blaming others, acknowledge that you have contributed to the issue at hand. Dont make empty promises of change just to smooth things over for the moment. Buried issues always find their way to the surface again, so it is best to deal with it properly the first time. Take an honest evaluation of yourself and try to see it from their point of view.

If you are still in love and trying to figure out how to deal with a breakup,remember that handling it in a mature and honest way will greatly increase the chances of them taking you back. Many of us act in unhealthy and hurtful ways when we feel backed in a corner or hurt and vulnerable. You can make it through this rough time if you step back and take the time to think things through and make good, sound choices on how to move forward.

Posted under Relationships

Did your girlfriend break up with you? Are you wondering how to get her back? If so, you’ve probably spend hours trying to figure out what you should have done differently. Some guys are ready to write a long apology letter, or try some other way to win her back.

If this is you, listen up.

Going round and around trying to figure out why you broke up isn’t going to get you anywhere right now. The truth is, a lot of time women can’t tell you exactly what when when wrong. Many times they won’t really know why they feel the way they do.

Instead of asking what went wrong, the real question you should be asking is… what should you do next?

The best thing to do right now is focus on something else right now. Go out and have some fun. Meet new people. Make new friends. Stop thinking about your relationship for now and just focus on you. You can work on your people skills. Set some realistic goals to expand your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.

Take a some time to be away from your ex. A couple of months may seem like eternity right now, but if you give yourself this time and make some changes in our life, it will work wonders.

In a few months, you’ll have a better idea of how to proceed. Do you still want to get back together? Or is it time to move on? This time will help you to see her, and your relationship, much more clearly.

If you decide you still want to get her back, it’s time to find out how she feels. But be careful… you can’t get all emotional and beg her to get back with you. You need to be less emotional, and more strategic.

Now is when you’ll find out if you two are meant to be together. These months apart have probably made her miss you as much as you are missing her. To find out, you’ll want to take it slow. Play things cool when you’re around her.

Here’s what I mean… If you play it cool and act a little hard-to-get, she’s going to see that you are doing just fine without her. If she’s still got feelings for you, this is going to make start to rethink things.

Seriously, the worst thing you can do right now is over-analyze things. If you start obsessing about what went wrong, you’ll never be in the position to win her back. Take some time, then be sure to play it cool. You’ll find out soon enough if you were really meant to be together.

Posted under Relationships

Dealing with a breakup is hard enough, but it’s a whole lot tougher when it happens during the holidays. There are several reasons for this. First, you’re going to have to explain to the whole family why you’ve shown up by yourself. And what are you supposed to do with the presents you’ve already bought. Do you take them back? Give them anyways?

Right now, there’s probably just one thing on your mind… getting your ex back. If that’s the case, keep reading. Here are some tips to help you get through the holidays and back on your feet again.

Before you go any further, you need to understand something. No matter how sad or lonely you’re feeling right now, you’re never going to feel better if all you do is sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You’re going to have to start focusing on something besides the relationship. That might be hard at first, but you’ll be surprised at how much better you feel once you change your attitude.

Think of this as a time to focus on yourself for a change. You’ve probably had less time to spend with friends than you use to. Now is your chance to reconnect. This doesn’t mean going on and on about the breakup. It means going out and having fun. You need to relax, be with people who care about you, and just forget about the past for now.

What about your appearance? Are you happy with it? It could be time to try a new hairstyle. Why not spend the day trying on new outfits. Update your wardrobe a little. Don’t do it to try to win your ex back… this is the time to do it for YOU.

Now think of something you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t had the chance. Is there a place you’ve always wanted to travel to? Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to play tennis, or learn to play bass guitar. Stop dreaming about it and take action instead.

It’s just a matter of believing you can do it and taking that first small step. Call and get more information about the trip you want to take. Find out how you can learn that new sport, instrument or whatever it is you want to do. Sign yourself up and get started – this week!

You’ll feel so much better, because you’ll be spending your energy on something positive. Once you start moving towards that goal, you’ll find yourself waking up a little more excited each morning. You’ll feel better about the future – and about yourself. And you’ll have something fun to talk about with everyone over Christmas dinner!

So instead of wallowing in self-pity, pull yourself up and take charge. Work on becoming a better you, and you may find your ex is a little more interested than you expected.

Posted under Relationships