Does this sound familiar?

You find a beautiful woman, and head on over to her to start a conversation.

Things seem to be going great. She’s responding well to you, but then, all of a sudden, something happens…

You run out of stuff to say!

And the awkward pause ensues. And before you know it, the girl excuses herself and moves on.

Let me tell you – this type of thing happens ALL THE TIME.

And it typically happens because most guys just don’t know how to talk to girls! They may have their first couple of lines ready to go to get the conversation started, but after that, they are just “winging it.”

But all too often, when it gets to the point where they have to talk to the girl, and they don’t have anything already thought out, their bran STALLS, and the conversation dies a slow and painful death.

Not too many people realize that there is an art to conversation. Getting it started is one thing, but keeping it going is quite another all together.

If you have ever been in a situation where your conversation with a girl has gone south before you could get her phone number, you know what I am talking about.

So then, how does one keep the conversation from faltering? Surprisingly, once you realize a few things it’s pretty simple.

First of all, understand that questions are the building blocks of conversations. Every question you ask a girl leads to a new and exciting part of the interaction.

The problem is that most guys ask the WRONG questions.

They ask your typical “boring” questions like “what’s your name?” “where do you live?” “what do you do for work?” Blah, blah, blah.

Now, these aren’t bad questions – after all, you’ll need this information at some point – but you can’t rely on questions like these to keep an initial conversation healthy!

Instead, you have to ask fun, interesting questions that will actually engage the girl, and make her want to keep talking to you. For example, instead of asking her what she does, ask something like…

“Hey, do you work with kids by any chance? You have that really loving kindergarten teacher vibe to you. I bet you love small animals too.”

In that example, we asked her a number of questions, but we did so in an interesting way. We asked her what her job was – but we took a guess that it had to do with kids. Whether we were right or not is irrelevant. Either way, she’ll let us know what she does.

We also asked her if she liked kids, without coming out and saying it. We also asked her if she liked animals, without being obvious.

Finally, we pointed out a “feeling” she gave us. This can lead us into a conversation about HER.

And this is the real key in talking to girls – make the conversation about HER. That isn’t to say you should never talk about yourself, but when you keep the conversation focused on her, she will get the feeling that you’re actually INTERESTED in her.

And as we all know – girls LOVE to talk about themselves.

So when you ask the right questions, and keep the conversation focused her – who she is and what she likes and dislikes – you can keep any conversation moving in the right direction.

Posted under Relationships

Every nice guy has pondered this at one time or another:

“Why do jerks get the women, and me, the good guy, is stuck being alone?”

Sometimes, it’s easy to believe that Jerks have some type of magical power that allows them to sucker women into liking them and somehow have them hang around while they treat them like dirt.

This happens SO MUCH, that some guys believe that they actually have to BECOME Jerks to get women attracted to them.

But make no mistake about it – no body likes a jerk. Not even the women who date them! So if that’s the case, why is it obvious that they get so many girls to go for them?

Well, remember that Jerk’s tend to go through lots of women quickly. Most girls will only put up with Jerk behavior for so long before they get sick of it. And those who stick around have such low self esteem as it is, that they’ve formed some type of strange attachment to the emotional abuse Jerks doll out.

That said, there are a number of things Jerks do to attract women that make them effective seducers and pick up artists. And these are things that “nice guys” can do, and get the same results.

Here are the top 5 things Jerks do to get women, and how you can do them too – WITHOUT having to become a prick…

1. Jerk’s are self-centered

One of the big things a Jerk has going for him is that he really doesn’t care about other people. In fact, his focus is almost entirely on his own pleasures, thoughts, and feelings.

Because of this, when he sees something he wants, he goes after it!

When your average “nice guy” sees a hot girl, he might be intimidated. He wants her to like him. He wants approval from her. In short – he cares about what she thinks!

But in addition to that, most guys care about what other’s think too! They worry about a girl rejecting them in front of other people, and what those people will think when they see it happen.

Jerks do not have this problem. They could care less about what other people are thinking. The Jerk is only focused on getting what he wants.

When you allow yourself to focus on your goals, and set aside fears of judgment from others, this gives you a great deal of focus, and as we all know, focus is KEY to achieving what we desire.

2. Jerks aren’t afraid to approach women

The single, most important step in getting a woman is walking up to her and talking to her.

A lot of guys just don’t do it. Whether it’s shyness, or intimidation, they don’t. Instead they just hover around her and stare like an idiot, hoping that they get the cods to meet her.

Jerks could care less what a woman thinks, so, without hesitation, they go up to meet her.

They’re thinking about how hot it’s going to be to make out with her. They’re thinking about how much fun it will be to get her in bed. The LAST thing on their mind is “fear of rejection.”

To a Jerk, if a girl rejects him, there’s something wrong with HER, not him. Nice guys will say “Oh, I’m too ugly, she doesn’t like me.” Jerks will say “That bitch is a total lesbian.”

Just the act of being able to approach a girl and start talking to her puts the Jerk at an advantage, because he’s interacting with the girl, and the “nice guy” isn’t. To the girl, the nice guy doesn’t exist!

That’s why women typically have such low opinions of men, because it’s always the Jerks who are approaching the women while the shy guys sit off in the corner!

Jerks realize it’s not the woman’s job to approach the guy. If you want something, you have to go after it.

So if the Nice Guys were to start walking up and talking to women, they might be surprised to find most women WELCOME their company and really want to meet a good fella to treat them right!

3. Jerk’s don’t censor themselves

Part of the reason Jerk’s come off as fun, interesting, or exciting is because they aren’t worried about offending anybody. They will talk about whatever, joke about whatever, and even broach “sensitive” topics of conversation without a blink of an eye.

Too many “nice guys” hold back when they talk to a girl they like. They NEVER bring up sex. They don’t even joke about it. Heck, they don’t even display any sign they even LIKE the girl.

Because of this, the Nice Guys become the Boring Guys.

The Jerk will come along, make an off-color joke, tell the girl a racy story, and even MAKE FUN of the girl!

He could care less if he offends somebody. To the Jerk, he’s just doing what comes naturally to him. Attitude like this is like a breath of fresh air to many women, because they mistake it as “confidence.”

As this goes on, the more they realize this Jerk isn’t so much confident as he’s narcissistic. And he just doesn’t care about others.

Nice guys can learn a lot from these jerks, though. By putting aside the people pleaser attitude, loosening up, and creating some attraction, they’ll get much farther. After that, they can reveal their caring side to her.

This is the first part of a 2 part article. Watch for part 2 soon!

Posted under Relationships

If you are trying to get a girlfriend, odds are you’ve spent quite a bit of money going out on dates.

After all, going out to eat every once and a while might be affordable, but taking a woman out to a restaurant 2-3 times a week quickly adds up!

So this begs the question – should you avoid paying for dates? Should you try and go dutch? What can you do here?

To me, the answer is simple:

DON’T GO OUT ON “TRADITIONAL DINNER DATES” ANYMORE.

See, if you don’t go out on “take her out to dinner” dates anymore, then you won’t have to deal with paying for them. Restaurant food can get expensive, especially if you’re paying for two and going someplace other than McDonald’s.

So you want to avoid the trap of doing what every other guy does, and offer to “take her out” on a traditional dinner-and-a-movie type date.

Instead, offer her chances to hang out with you in casual settings that aren’t going to cost you a lot of money. Ask her to meet you for coffee, or drinks. This way you won’t spend more than $10 on the first date.

One of my favorite lines is to ask the girl: “Hey, what time are you eating dinner tomorrow?” When she tells me, I’ll say “Great, let’s meet up for drinks after that!”

It’s a sneaky way to bypass the “dinner” routine.

If you really don’t want to spend any money, try showing up a few minutes late for the drinks, so she’ll have already ordered one and paid. You can even show righteous indignation as you ask “Where is my drink?” upon your arrival.

Also, you’ll want to be sure to set a budget on a date – I like to say I’m not willing to go over $30 until I find out I actually like the girl and she feels the same way about me.

Having a budget in mind will help in the decision making process of where to go and how long to say. If she’s beginning to finish her drink, and you think she may order another one, tell her “Don’t get another drink here, I want to take you somewhere else.”

Then you can bring her to a different bar and focus on dancing, or something else that’s free and gives you time to get to know each other.

Whatever you do, though – do not come off as cheap! Women don’t like cheap men. It’s not a gold-digging thing either, it’s more acout courtesy. It’s okay to try and have a cheap date, but if you start haggling over splitting a $2 cup of coffee, you’re going to look bad and lose her interest.

Remember – it’s okay to buy the girl stuff as long as it’s in your budget! If she’s asking you to buy her a diamond bracelet, obviously you’ll have to let her know she hasn’t earned that yet. But getting her a drink isn’t going to kill you.

Finally, never ask the girl to pay for anything. But if she offers, feel free to take her up on it! Lots of girls will reach for their purses when the check comes. If they do it on their own, let them pay. But keep in mind that if you asked HER out, they typically want you to pay since you invited them.

So you buy a woman a bunch of dinners. Will she have feelings towards you? Yes, and they aren’t always good. Generally, she’ll feel some affection, but it’s not going to create attraction, which is much different. Attraction is also what you want.

In my opinion, you should avoid buying things for a woman until it’s obvious things are going somewhere. Until then, give the gift of the self!

Posted under Relationships