There are three top tips to having a great relationship that you can put to use in your love life today. Put the following tips into effect in your own way and your relationship will be enhanced starting now.

Tip Number One is Play. You got in your relationship in the first place to play, to have fun. Then over time the play can begin to disappear so that even sex seems like work. However, the more play you have with your mate, the less fighting you will have as well. And it is easy to start playing more with your mate.

So do you both make time to play together on a regular basis? Do you have a date night at least once a week?

Tip Number Two is Work Towards Healthy Conflict. Obviously, we all tend to fight from time to time in long term relationships. How you behave during and after the conflict seriously impacts the quality of your relationship. For example, expressing scorn or contempt during an argument has been shown to cause long term damage to a marriage.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways. One simple method is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.

Tip #3: Minimize Mind Reading. We often tend to think our partners should just know what we want. This is a faulty assumption, and it can be a fatal one. Rather than think your mate should know what you want and give it to you, be proactive instead. Ask for what you want. If you need a hug, ask for it. If you need to be heard rather than given advice ask your mate to just listen.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking. And encourage your mate to ask for what they need when they seem unhappy as well. that’s being a good partner.

There are entire books that can be written about each of these three topics, so this is obviously just an introduction, but these are a great place to start to improve your love relationship today.

Posted under Marriage

You know, a big problem with infidelity is that after it occurs and you have kicked out your ex, you often want and need them back. You feel hurt and untrusting, but for your own sake and maybe that of your kids you want them back in your life.

Is there a way to get them back and yet stop infidelity from occurring again? Is there a way to get them back and keep your dignity? After all, they cheated on you, so if you just take them back you can end up dealing with the same problem just down the road. You want them back, but you don’t want any more infidelity.

What can you do? Well, there are a few very powerful steps you can take to get your ex back and keep them from cheating on you again. The first step is to have a short, special conversation with them where you set them up to listen to you. You do this by assuring them that you arent going to attack or fight with them, so they just need to listen, not argue or defend or attack.

Once you have got your mate to promise to listen without arguing, you then vent your feelings about how their infidelity made you feel. You do this by using what are called I Statements. I feel very hurt and sad about what you did. I feel like you betrayed us and I don’t know how I can ever trust you anymore…

The important thing is to vent your hurt feelings using I Statements directly to your ex and try to make sure you feel heard. If you get your hurt feelings off your chest you create room for forgiveness and a stronger relationship in the future.

After you have vented some, you check with your partner to see if they listened and heard what you said. If they have empathized with you rather than argued or tried to defend themselves, you will likely feel much more able to begin to forgive. The key is to feel heard and understood when you vent your hurt feelings. If you do, you then take the next step, which is to ask them if they can promise not to do it again. If they can, you can feel much better about taking them back.

So the critical point is to not attack your ex, but create a short period of time where they can listen to the pain they caused you. This is much more important than trying to attack or harangue them about what they did. When they can listen to you vent, you will begin to feel better and more able to forgive.

There is a lot more to this, but just observing these few steps will help you to resolve some of your negative feelings and move back towards forgiveness and love. With some additional emotional intelligence, you can eventually make your relationship even stronger than before!

Posted under Relationships

Did you lose or are you losing your mate because they just aren’t that into you anymore? This is a common issue that causes a lot of relationships to end the world over. Your ex has lost interest in you.

When your ex is no longer into you, is there anything you can do to get them back? After all, you didnt really do anything wrong, you didnt cheat on your mate, but over time they lost interest and passion for you and felt that you were no longer the one for them. They want to move on.

Your ex isn’t really angry at you, they are probably still friendly, they just aren’t that into you anymore. They think the thrill is gone and its time to move on.

This is one of the most difficult reasons for a break up to recover from. Once your ex feels that the thrill is gone, that you arent the one, the emotional distance that builds up can be hard to bridge. However, one of the advantages of this type of break up is that usually they are still friendly towards you, and they are still approachable. You can use this friendliness to your benefit as you take steps to get them back.

If you want to get your ex back, a first step is to find out as specifically as you can why they aren’t that into you anymore. What’s missing for them? Are they bored? Did things get too stale or mechanical? Is it the sex? Is it lack of communication? Loss of passion?

Once you figure out as exactly as possible why they are no longer that into you, then you have some useful information. If you know its the sex, or money, or lack of communication, you know something important.

Then you are ready for the next step. You’ve got to figure out, do you want to change that for them? If they feel that you are too distant and uncommunicative, do you really want to try to change that about yourself for them? If you do, then you have a possibility of getting them back.

You simply tell them you want to work on that thing so that you can give them what they want. You tell them you want to make them happy and so you will work on being more communicative or more sexually playful or whatever, and will they help you with that? It doesnt always work, but it can give you a starting place to get your ex back when they just arent that into you for some reason.

Posted under Relationships